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Pigtown Design: Armistead Maupin Pens “The Virtues of Baltimore” to Settle Bet with Laura Lippman

3 Written by: | Friday, Feb 08, 2013 10:19am

When it was determined that San Francisco and Baltimore would be playing each other in the Super Bowl, all sorts of bets were made between our two mayors, senators, congress-people and others. Amongst those who bet were novelists Armistead Maupin and Laura Lippman, who agreed to pen an ode to the other’s city upon losing the game.image

Herewith is the poem that Armistead Maupin wrote.

The Virtues of Baltimore (After Pondering Weak and Weary)

By Armistead Maupin

Who makes Baltimore so fine?

The Duchess of Windsor or Divine?image

Poe and his Raven or Mama Cass?image

The great John Waters or Ira Glass?image

Thurgood Marshall or Adrienne Rich?image Barry Levinson or – sonofabitch—image

That linebacker who took a stand

For marriage equality in Maryland?

I lift my glass with a way-to-go

To Brendon Ayanbadejo.image

The End!

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